The Dangers of Rushing

I've been coming across it more and more.  With projects at work, with clients, while driving...it has even crept into my relationships at times.  I was reading the NYT a few weeks ago and this epidemic was even featured there.  Rushing.  It's all around us in a modern world.  

Where does the need to rush come from, what are the impacts of it, and what can we do to minimize how big of a role it plays in our lives?

My hypothesis is that rushing comes from a superficial need or desire to control.  Control comes from a fear-based place.  When used productively, control can be useful.  For example, controlling choices around eating healthy or getting enough rest or drinking enough water.  Control can veer into unhealthy territory easily though and can end up looking like micromanaging, anxiety or other ego based behaviors.

There are two instances of rushing that have come to my life most recently and both carried with them unintended but...

Continue Reading...

If you're for everyone, you're for no-one

Today I realized that figuring out how to live fully and uniquely as myself is one of the best ways I can love myself.  

I've been going through a fascinating period of growth lately.  I'm spending more time thinking about what makes me, "Me".  What attributes, skills, perspectives and talents do I bring to a situation or relationship?  Of those, which allow me to feel in the flow and fully aligned?  Which ones feel most authentic?  What am I really passionate about? What makes me feel more alive rather than depleted?  

I arrived in this moment today by really listening to a few messages that have been circling me lately - from emails I'm getting, conversations I'm having with my boyfriend and opportunities that are coming across my path that require me to be only and exactly who I am.  

At first, I was uncomfortable.  For so long I have prioritized being "for everyone".  I have been interested in getting along with everyone; in...

Continue Reading...

If you say so

It's a new year.  Fifteen days in I have managed to find one quiet hour to sit and think and Remember.  I'm grateful that I've had enough practice with this now that it doesn't take me long at all to find myself and listen.  It used to not come at all...then months...weeks...a day or so, and now just the time it takes for a quiet warm shower and a cup of tea will do the trick.  

I find that talking to myself is really helpful and brings clarity.  So many things are coming to mind, but only one idea is easing its way towards the surface: how we choose and power our perspective. 

Last night one of my dearest friends and I went to dinner before heading to a comedy show at The Beacon theater here in NYC.  Both headlining comedians were smart and funny, but it was one thing that the opener said that has stayed with me today.  He told the story of how he hated NYC.  He thought it was terrible and all the people in it were mean - a horrid place....

Continue Reading...

Observations on paying attention

I think I've always been a thinker.  I've always been interested in the stuff behind the stuff...the subtext...the nuggets...the tiniest building blocks of things that actually are tiny only in size.  My Mom always called me "eagle eye".  

Even though I have truly terrible eyesight, whenever something was lost, I could somehow always find it by getting quiet and paying attention and noticing everything I could.  That's how I found the stuff.  My earliest memory is of finding a contact lens in a high pile, almost shag, carpet that I'm pretty sure was navy blue.  My most recent memory is of retracing steps to find a lost credit card at night in grass that needed to be cut.  

I really like it. Observing.  It's now a large component of who I am and I really love it about myself.  It's what I relied on heavily when I was learning how to be a musician.  The first instrument I learned to play was the piano and my Mom was my first teacher,...

Continue Reading...

I go to the water

I knew I would have to leave my NYC studio apartment to get it all done in the way I wanted and needed to. It's been two years since I learned that my father passed away, and in that time I had processed a lot and learned SO much about myself.  I felt pulled to write about it as a way to fully process and acknowledge what I learned.  I knew that just finding two hours to write in between work and life in NYC was not going to yield the kind of result that I deserved.  So I decided to schedule a self retreat.  I could have gone almost anywhere, but for some reason felt pulled to go somewhere very near water.  The ocean, specifically.  

So here I am on an island in the Caribbean, sitting on my balcony at the quietest corner of the hotel.  I get up for the sunrise and have my coffee beside me.  I meditate with the ocean breeze passing over me and helping me Remember how to breathe.  The waves coming in slow my heartbeat down and help me to...

Continue Reading...

Tiny Choices

I usually notice it first as an outward manifestation of what's going on inside.  Perhaps I just won't be able to jog as quickly, or it'll take an extra cup of coffee to get me going, or it'll take an extra shimmy to get into those pants.  It's usually a sluggishness that will start to come forward and is a sign for me that I've been disconnected from my choices and because of that, I'm not always making the right ones.  

For me these choices include not eating mindfully or often enough and when I do, not eating the right foods. I go to foods that are quicker, easy to assemble meals, many meals out, definitely alcohol.  All of these things don't serve me or my body being and feeling my best.  When I feel this way (as I do right now as I'm typing this), I know that I've got to stop, listen, hold myself accountable, and start making better tiny decisions.  

I'm grateful when it happens and I can notice it, because now I listen.  When I do, I know I...

Continue Reading...

Missed Connections

 

Climate change is a very real thing.  Over time, nature and animals are remarkably adaptable...maybe we will be, too?

Recently, my own ability to adapt was challenged not once, but TWICE in a one month period of time when flights from Chicago to the East coast were cancelled.  The strong storms and winds hitting the entire east coast were enough to ground flights for days.  

The first time, I was traveling back to NYC with my Mom and brother after a wonderful family vaca to Yellowstone.  We ended up having to crash in Chicago overnight and then took a regional flight to a cab to a train to the Acela to get home.  Exhausting, but better than trying to fly through the huge storm that was impacting the coastline.

Then two weeks later, I was in Chicago for a wedding (which was lovely), and our Sunday morning direct flight from ORD to LGA got delayed...then delayed...then delayed...then cancelled 4 hours later.  The tricky thing this time was that we...

Continue Reading...

Folks, we're in a HOLD

 The past 4-6 weeks have been a lot over here.  The amount of change, challenge and overall impact of stress has shown up in my life in different ways than ever before.  I know it's a part of growth, and for that I'm grateful.  I'm sure there is a place for all of this in the way I want to show up for others in service.  I'll be able to add it to my toolbox from which I draw ideas and can find connection for clients. 

In the meantime, it's been quite a challenge to remain in the observation deck in my life.  To the contrary, it's felt like challenges have been tugging on my buoy of life more aggressively lately and the result is that I've had to take a moment personally in order to find peace and regroup.  It's so important to me to show up in a full and authentic way and in order to do that I've had to take a beat.  

 

In theater, there is a period of rehearsals before the show opens that's called "tech" - or technical rehearsal....

Continue Reading...

Switchbacks

Life is dotted with switchbacks...and maybe they are here to help. 

 

A few years ago I had the opportunity to explore some of the wonderful National Parks of the United States. On the itinerary was a few days in Utah, hiking in Zion National Park.  I was SO excited!  Zion is an amazing place to be - from high cliffs to wooded back trails to beautiful winding waterways - nature is on full display here.  

Going in, I was curious and energized as guides explained to us the varying difficulty levels of the hikes we could choose from.  I was feeling rested and ambitious, so I didn't shy away from effort that day, and off we went.  It was going to be a long trek to the "plateau" where we could access the famous Angels Landing.  

The walk started off easy enough, but before too long I encountered twists and turns in the trail: switchbacks.  Looking in front of me, I could see that the trail winding back and forth to accommodate a smaller...

Continue Reading...

Force vs Allow

I recently started practicing my music and singing again.  

For about a decade of my life, I practiced singing and music for at least an hour every day.  For a decade before that, I practiced piano, too.  Getting back into a more formal practice around music making has felt like coming home in many ways for me.  There are moments where it has felt like riding a bike - and then other times where I realize that the bike. is. rusty.  That's OK too, I decided.  It's through careful and deliberate, consistent practice that I know my body will get back into the familiar ease of music making again. 

As I practice again formally, I find myself just singing more throughout the day as well.  In between meetings, or as I'm getting ready for the day, I will notice myself humming a song or fully singing out loud and really being in that moment, enjoying the journey that the music takes us on.  It's been really wonderful to reconnect with myself this...

Continue Reading...
1 2 3 4 5 6
Close

50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.