The Dangers of Rushing
I've been coming across it more and more. With projects at work, with clients, while driving...it has even crept into my relationships at times. I was reading the NYT a few weeks ago and this epidemic was even featured there. Rushing. It's all around us in a modern world.
Where does the need to rush come from, what are the impacts of it, and what can we do to minimize how big of a role it plays in our lives?
My hypothesis is that rushing comes from a superficial need or desire to control. Control comes from a fear-based place. When used productively, control can be useful. For example, controlling choices around eating healthy or getting enough rest or drinking enough water. Control can veer into unhealthy territory easily though and can end up looking like micromanaging, anxiety or other ego based behaviors.
There are two instances of rushing that have come to my life most recently and both carried with them unintended but obvious (to me) challenges. Perhaps one of these have happened to you OR you have caused them to occur.
A few months ago, I was working on a project that had a very tight deadline. We were trying to cram all sorts of work and outward-facing activities into this period of time and we had finite resources and time to do it in. The result was that folks worked longer and "harder" and each day became more and more exhausted and depleted. At the beginning the work product didn't suffer and most folks were able to maintain a positive outlook and balance. As the time went on, though and the "rushing" didn't let up, I saw the pace and expectation start to really take a toll. People started becoming tired and have less patience with themselves and others. Work product suffered, too. Materials and points of view required double and triple checking with others in order to ensure that nothing was being missed or misrepresented. That process ended up taking even more resources than were originally planned for. By the end, there was true burnout. People were unhappy. It all felt like a heavy lift. And the thing is, it didn't have to. If the entire process was designed in a way that didn't build in "rushing", the people involved could have had the opportunity to show up in the best way they can. If they had had the opportunity to do that the entire project would have been a more positive experience and probably less resource intensive. What's interesting here is that people think that by rushing they are somehow getting to a better result quicker, when in reality the exact opposite is what occurs. Not only that, you wear people and relationships down in the process - and those are harder to recover. A danger of rushing in a business setting for sure.
More recently, I was working with a new client on SPEAK. This particular client had challenges they were vaguely aware of, but wanted to fix very quickly. They asked me what my "quick tricks" were for speaking excellence or to make themselves a stronger communicator and less scared when they were engaging in high stakes conversations. I get these kinds of requests more and more. People want to rush progress. They want efficiency (or the feeling of efficiency); they want "results"; they want to "get there" already. In some areas of life, you can go quicker. Ex: walking vs jogging vs running. If you're able, generally speaking, running will get you somewhere quicker than walking. The thing is - for running to be an effective option, you need to know how to run. There is a process of learning and growth that is required in skill building. Would you wake up one morning after never training for it and decide "today is the day I'm going to run a marathon". No. You would not. Or you may and then you would hurt yourself and have a truly terrible experience. Same thing with real growth. Sure, I can offer some quick tips and tricks because I've done all of it long enough to know the most efficient path forward. But it's still a path - not a pole vault. When people set themselves up to have to pole vault in order to be successful, you set yourself up for deep challenge that could end up causing more harm and frustration than a healthy and realistic path ever would. Another danger of rushing. The self imposed pressure and expectation is heavy, and ironically undermines the very growth clients are going for.
Bottom line: rushing removes the option to be thoughtful. And removing thoughtfulness in a process or relationship can lead to unwanted consequences. I think we need to slow down. Take a lesson from nature. You never see nature rushing. There is a cadence - a cycle. It happens when it happens. There is no late, there is no early.
So what can we do about it. Well, as I always say, it all starts with awareness. Take a look around you and your life. Where are you rushing? Do you snooze your morning alarm too many times and therefore set yourself up to have to rush out the door? Do you leave the house late and therefore need to speed on the road? Are you setting unrealistic goals and timelines for yourself or others? Notice where it's happening and then deliberately make shifts so that you can build in time for peace and thoughtfulness.
It's a much more pleasant experience.
